But I have to… even though the pain I felt today was overwhelming.
… because as awful as things might get, if I don’t repeat mantras like this…
I will stop breathing.
I will not think of solutions.
I will let my worry control me.
I will let my stress break me.
I won’t breathe.
It will not be ok,
and I will want to quit.
So I will repeat this mantra today and every day things make me feel out of control. I will teach my children to do the same when they feel the same way. I will live up to this mantra because it’s what I have to do for myself and for my family.
Today, I felt pain.
I felt pain I never wanted to feel. My daughter is going through more than any 8-year-old should have to and I don’t know how to fix it for her. Each day, I wake up not knowing how she will feel, not knowing if she’ll cry before school or if I will see her pretty smile. It hurts so much, but until we get everything sorted out and know the best course to take, I will remind myself of the mantra above and recite it (100 times a day if I have to), just so I stay sane and keep breathing through this time.
Life will throw us curve balls, and if they hit us, they will sting… a lot. But the sting doesn’t last forever. It’s up to us to breathe through the pain and come out better in the end.