Dancing Days Are Over

A close friend recently told me “Once you near your 40′s, everything starts to hurt.”  I believe her.

It started with the dancing.  In a recent post, I mentioned how I could still Kriss Kross And Applesauce On A Dance Floor… Well, I forgot to mention that I had some discomfort in my back before I took to the “Dance Floor Of No Return.”  I neglected to bring it up to my doctor for fear that she would assume I was trying to hide the fact that my “back pain… was…”

not due to dancing like a 16-year-old with flailing arms and wobbly knees.

If I was just honest with my doctor though, I might have spared myself the looks I am getting now as I walk through life, just like a turtle without its shell… Instead, I hung my head low as I walked into my doctor’s office yesterday.  I did mention my dancing and how I thought the pain was because of that before… but it was still present… more so than ever.  A quick test determined that it could be due to a kidney stone.

Ok, so I wanted to scream out of sheer joy but decided to spare myself any more embarrassment.  I am a woman.  Like many women, I allow the smallest ailment become a death trap in my head.  Before my appointment, I started thinking about how I would tell my kids that I was not ok, and not going to be ok…

The highlight of my day was while driving my little ones home.  My doctor’s appointment was over, my medication picked up, and my faith renewed.  I was alive!  I was not going anywhere anytime soon, and everyone, including my children, believed me because I was not really moving quickly enough to get anywhere soon.

hence, “The Turtle,” my sign from God!

It was in the middle of the road.  I pulled over and took a picture before animal control picked it up by its tail and placed it safely by the water (did I mention the slow and steady turtle was hissing at me the whole time).  It was like a little reminder that even though I may have been walking like a turtle, slow and steady… it didn’t mean I wasn’t strong and couldn’t bite.

Turtle

I may not go out dancing again any time soon but… the “Dance Floor Of No Return” has not seen the last of me!

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A Mother’s Guilt

Guilty.

I admit it… I have “terrible mother’s syndrome” written all over my face.  I don’t like wasting money on birthday parties for children.  Not only do I not like wasting my money on them, I don’t like making other people have to waste money on gifts that my “picky” children probably won’t like for more than a minute following opening them…

I am not sure my daughters even remember what they get on their birthdays since I hide carefully put away some of their presents for a future date when they get tired of their current box o’ toys, and they “believe” the new present is really brand new…

So… in great “Mother’s guilt” fashion, I decided to start offering the “ultimate” gift… a hundred-dollar bill.  My reasoning is this:

  1. It takes zero time to prepare or plan.
  2. It gives me a reason to go shopping.
  3. I am hoping they will start saving a bit of their money.
  4. They will buy themselves things they genuinely like.
  5. Did I mention I don’t have to plan a party?

Julia was the first to take the offer (smart girl)!  She opted for money instead of a party.  Her one request was to make a random day her family party day.  The random day happened to be this past weekend.  Julia wanted to paint pottery for her mini birthday, so off to pottery painting we went.  Both girls decided to paint similar pieces.  Talia chose a burger bank, Julia a puppy bank.  I think I have an idea what the next few birthday “non-parties” might be like.

1 Win For Mom = √

AprilPotteryJulia

AprilPotteryPaint

AprilPotteryTalia

AprilPotteryJuliabackground

AprilPotteryBurger

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Will You Forgive Me Please?

I read this today, and I am glad I did because it made me…

Circleoffire

think.

It’s true.  I did love with no effort, forgive with no effort and it was natural to do both.  Like most parents, I expect my children to always love me and forgive me… so why don’t I expect the same from myself with everyone else in the world?

In middle school, I took a psychology class that talked about the term displacement.  I learned that its human nature to displace our anger or frustration out on those we know will forgive us.  It’s absurd if you really think about it!

  • Let’s all treat the people who love us most with the least bit of respect…
  • Make sure if you are mad at your boss, you take it out on your husband…
  • Wait, you didn’t score a goal???  No problem, feel free to take your frustration out on me since I love you and you know I will always forgive you…

I know it can be hard to forgive sometimes, but then we need to think of the expectations we set for our loved ones and try to set the same for ourselves with everyone in the world.

“Is constantly taking out your frustrations on someone you love and expecting them to forgive you any better than that one friend… who wronged you that one time… that you simply cannot forgive?”

Probably not.

Try forgiving someone today… maybe someone will do the same for you too.

Elevate | 2014

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A Rarity In Its Own Beauty

If you ever find one of these, take time to appreciate whats in front of you…

Bukowski

I have only met a few “true” free souls in my lifetime.  I let most of them go for various reasons, whether a change in my life’s path or a move (usually on their part).  I knew letting these people go was a mistake after each one.  Why I never stayed in touch, I still don’t know.  Maybe it was laziness, or possibly resenting them for leaving me… then I got lucky.

God gave me two more… only this time, I wasn’t letting them go.

The first and second being my daughters.  I believe each child we are blessed with is a free soul.  We are given these beautiful little beings to love and cherish but not own.  Although they have a bit of each of us in them, they are not “us” and we need to remember that.  Their personalities, likes, dislikes, and so much more are unique to each of them.  It’s not our job to make them who they are meant to be, they will do that on their own.  It is our job as parents to protect them and guide them.

We weren’t blessed with these little beings so they could live up to “our” expectations.

They have their own mission in life.  I am so proud to have been given the opportunity to experience life with 2 incredible free souls and cannot wait to see what they make of themselves.  I only hope they make themselves proud because the two of them simply being here on this earth make me a very happy and proud mother.

Do you have any free souls in your life?  If so, are they your children too?

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Todays Rant: Sucky People

The Harsh Reality…

dog

A topic I cannot stand having the need to discuss, yet, I cannot get off my mind. It’s the harsh reality of human nature. Let’s be honest here… there are many people in this world who absolutely suck! Whether it’s a once in a while kind of suck, or an all the time kind of suck, the word seems to fit them perfectly.

We all have these types of people in our lives. In fact, you may be one of them for another person in your life. The reality though… they exist… they are here… they are not going away… and you might have to deal with them… a lot.

Lately, more of the “sucky” type of people have reared their ugly faces to me. I have had to dodge bullets, ignore comments, pretend like some don’t exist and even walk away when I would prefer to say exactly what I feel which would unfortunately cause a backlash more harsh than a terrible Tsunami.

I wish I could say there is a good way to deal with people who have the “suck” factor but the truth is, if they already suck, most likely, it’s not a personality trait that can easily be changed.

So… what do you do about these “sucky” people… If you don’t want to obliterate them from your life (which would be a solid option), you need to have boundaries, a back bone and not let yourself get easily offended.

As far as the people that have sucked in my life recently… I cut two out of my life (incompletely), and the other, I cannot throw away completely, but the boundaries I have set are working well for me… for the moment.

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Character or Reputation… Which is more important?

character

What is more important to you… your character, or your reputation?

As a 39-year-old mother of two, there is only so much time in the day that I have to devote to things outside of my typical responsibilities which include desperately trying to stay ahead of our quickly building piles of laundry (which has yet to happen).  With lists… and lists… and lists of things to get done daily, monthly, for my kids, my husband, the dogs, our home and more, I have little time to genuinely think of what others think of me, never mind try to be someone I am not.

My friends are my friends, regardless of whether their hair is immaculate or not… my hobbies and interests may have evolved over time but, they are genuinely things I enjoy… my style is my style, whether anyone likes it or not… the result: I am happy, uninterested in trying to impress anyone else, and comfortable with myself.

… and then there are the others… when I look around and really pay attention to other people, it’s hard not to take notice of the many things they do to impress each other, keep up with one another, and become the infamous “one-uppers.”  What I don’t understand is WHY?  I am and have been stumped for a long time now… Any insight… please feel free to comment below.  I for one think maintaining my character is a lot more important than what anyone else thinks of me.

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