Beating The Wrong Addiction

Years ago, I had the most fulfilling addiction one could ask for. I was addicted to taking care of myself, my body and my mind. My appearance was important to me. Not because I wanted to look pretty. It was because I wanted to live as long as I could and stay as healthy as I could for my daughters. I had the need to be a positive role model for both of them, and I was determined to watch them grow and stay by their side for as long as I could.

Slowly though, I became complacent with how great I felt and slowly stopped taking care of myself as much. It began with less hours at the gym, meditating became less of a priority, even my eating habits went south.

2 Years Later: I really started to notice “the change.” My body wasn’t as lean as it used to be, my energy levels were lower than usual, my skin didn’t have a glow, all the positivity I used to exude was gone. I was losing sight of everything I wanted for my family and myself and wasn’t really happy anymore.

My moment of clarity: Sitting with my daughter Talia one day, she asked… “Mom, how come you don’t smile a lot?” Wow, I thought! Did she really just ask me that? Do I really not smile much? I was so STUCK in that miserable little wall I built around myself that I wasn’t even watching the beauty of life happening around me. The walls didn’t need to cave in around me… they were broken from the start.

That “moment of clarity” was when I decided to kick out the broken walls and let the sun shine directly on me! Instead of punishing myself, I praised myself for listening to my daughter and realizing what an idiot I was being. I started screaming positive affirmations to the universe! I began my gratitude journal. I started meditating again. I forced myself to take in everything happening around me and loving it. Although I knew that was just the beginning of my path to becoming who I was again, I was ready to run it and never stop running.

Everything in life is a spiritual journey.

I don’t regret that I lost my happy place for a bit. If I did that, I couldn’t move forward. They do call it a lost an found for a reason… Anything lost, can be found, even if it isn’t exactly the same as it was the first time you had it.

I like to consider all that is lost, then found, better than before, having more character, more depth, more to learn from and more to gain from.

This entry was posted in Inspirational and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.