Tag Archives: mother

A Mother’s Guilt

Guilty.

I admit it… I have “terrible mother’s syndrome” written all over my face.  I don’t like wasting money on birthday parties for children.  Not only do I not like wasting my money on them, I don’t like making other people have to waste money on gifts that my “picky” children probably won’t like for more than a minute following opening them…

I am not sure my daughters even remember what they get on their birthdays since I hide carefully put away some of their presents for a future date when they get tired of their current box o’ toys, and they “believe” the new present is really brand new…

So… in great “Mother’s guilt” fashion, I decided to start offering the “ultimate” gift… a hundred-dollar bill.  My reasoning is this:

  1. It takes zero time to prepare or plan.
  2. It gives me a reason to go shopping.
  3. I am hoping they will start saving a bit of their money.
  4. They will buy themselves things they genuinely like.
  5. Did I mention I don’t have to plan a party?

Julia was the first to take the offer (smart girl)!  She opted for money instead of a party.  Her one request was to make a random day her family party day.  The random day happened to be this past weekend.  Julia wanted to paint pottery for her mini birthday, so off to pottery painting we went.  Both girls decided to paint similar pieces.  Talia chose a burger bank, Julia a puppy bank.  I think I have an idea what the next few birthday “non-parties” might be like.

1 Win For Mom = √

AprilPotteryJulia
julia. working on her masterpiece.
AprilPotteryPaint
paint.
AprilPotteryTalia
talia. working on her masterpiece.
AprilPotteryJuliabackground
julia’s puppy bank. this could take a while.
AprilPotteryBurger
talia’s burger bank. complete.
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A Mother’s Wish

“I want my daughters to spread their wings and fly to places I didn’t have the courage to.”

It took me years to find the courage to find myself.  Years lost.  Photographing my daughters during quiet times throughout the day remind me about how much more I want for them in life, and how much I want them to blossom on their own… not the way I expect them to.  I am here to guide them, not to shape them.  My girls make me smile, cry, and love more deeply than I ever imagined I could.  I want to do the same for them.

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Playing with Photoshop
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*All photographs were taken with my SonyNex

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Theresa Giudice Tricked Me

Sephora.com, Inc.

Technology Combined With Theresa Giudice Tricked Me This Evening… Now That’s An Oxymoron if you ask me!

My laptop and I were fueled and ready for an intense night of writing. Unfortunately, things didn’t go as planned. My laptop decided to play a trick on me.

Although rarely a tv watcher, I do have a slight affinity for all The Real Housewives tv shows. The Real Housewives of New Jersey happen to be one I like… a bit… and I am not embarrassed to admit it. I get a good laugh when it’s on. Nothing wrong with that. My laptop clearly did not feel like being abused tonight, nor did she want me to push her buttons too much so instead, she purposely had a story about Theresa Giudice and her husband of the year, Joe Giudice as the headliner when I accessed the internet. Being a glutton, I clicked on the link.

That was just the beginning. There is nothing I dislike more than to read about celebrity gossip. Somehow though, my pretty little laptop decided to offer another juicy story with each click. The wretched thing (my laptop), had me surfing through story after story for almost an hour. The result… she (my laptop), won! This is all I have left tonight. Just a few paragraphs of nothing. I feel sick to my stomach, pathetic and have no energy left. I have officially been drained by the worst thing possible… celebrity gossip!

I’m still in disbelief that all of this began with me, being tricked by a Desperate… oops, I mean a Real Housewife, named Theresa Giudice…

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Working Mom Vs. Mom

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Today’s Flummery… Working Mom Vs. Mom (“Just Be A Mom”)

Obnoxious Woman:  “Oh, so you are a working mom?  Wouldn’t you rather just be a mom?”
Me:  “Excuse me???” 
Obnoxious Woman:  “Well, I mean, you work full-time. You probably can’t be at every important event, right?”
Me:  “I’m not sure I like where this conversation is going.  Let’s switch the topic, shall we?”

Perplexed, I wondered, since when does being a working mom mean that I am not “just being a mom?’  What does “just be a mom” really mean anyways?  I came to only one conclusion… Obnoxious lady must not have children. 

Rather than switching the topic, as I had politely requested, she continued…

Obnoxious Woman:  “Your children must miss you so much!”
Me:  Smiling, I simply said “I think my children and I are just fine thanks.”

What I really wanted to do, was curse the lady up and down.  How dare anyone make comments like that!  How dare anyone criticize me without being able to back it up!  How dare… Then, I did what any other rational person would do… I took a deep breath, turned around, and walk away… far, far away.  If I didn’t do that, I would have punched her in the face.  Fortunately, my meditation sessions must be working in my favor.
Save big at DiaperBags.com

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The Growth Process, Aging And The Wonderful World Of Gray Hairs…

Each day I wake up, brush my teeth, look in the mirror and am faced with my biggest fear…  Aging.  A few weeks ago, while at work, I needed to use the restroom.  As I skipped toward a toilet stall, I took a quick peek in the mirror before me and noticed something shiny near my eyebrow.  Figuring it was a bit of fuzz from a shirt or quite possibly a Cooper hair, I chose to ignore it and continue to the bathroom.  Then came the moment of truth…

As I washed my hands, I noticed the white shiny thing still by my eyebrow.  It was sticking out of my face.  As I tried to wipe it away, it happened…  One tear, which led to two tears, then a bit of convulsing, a minor anxiety attack, accompanied by some heavy breathing.  My eyebrow had a newly sprouted gray hair sticking out of it.  It was not a piece of fuzz, nor was it a Cooper hair…  It was mine.  Mine to stay.  This sucker was going nowhere!  Now, I know I have a few grays on my head.  My mother always told me not to pluck them or they would come back two-fold.  I would love to believe that this is just an old wives tale but, unfortunately, I refuse to take any chances.  After gathering myself, I was posed with a different dilemma in our work restroom.  To pluck or not to pluck.  As I stared at the awful creature sticking out of my face, my eyes began to well up once again.  Would two grow back in place of that one?  Was I prepared to walk back out in public with a creature sticking out of my face?  Without thinking or having an ounce of control over my actions, I did the unthinkable.  I grabbed the gray hair with my nails as if they were tweezers.  I yanked the awful hair out of my brow, roots and all!  I could breathe again… I have yet to see my not so special creature buddy again. Hopefully, it learned its lesson and will avoid visiting me again for quite some time.

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Back To My Roots

Born in India, migrating to America and getting lost along the way.  Where were my roots?  Between moving, getting accustomed to a new culture, and trying to fit in, I seemed to have lost my grounding.  Between hearing about people’s their amazing journeys through life and others who knew they had a calling and followed it, there was a time where I felt completely lost.  Acknowledging this was the first step I took.  Then, I felt lost again.  That is, until I realized that my roots were missing.

Each of us has a set of roots that should never be forgotten no matter how good or bad.  I understand many people want to forget where they came from for various reasons but the reality is that through your subconscious, you never will.  That is why it is better to come to terms with them and move forward from it.  The roots will and always be what ground you as an individual.  Only you have the chance to make them stronger and grow them.  It was not too long ago that I finally decided it was time for me to start living more and stop worrying about everything and everyone around me.  Everyone passes judgement.  You cannot avoid what others think or say.  You can allow it not to bother you.  It is a decision I chose to make on my own.  That is when I reached my point of acceptance.  It was time for me to go back to my roots, absorb them, and strengthen myself as an individual.

The first step involved reading.  I read about Buddhism, Indian traditions, the culture, the evolution and even the meaning behind each holiday I had celebrated throughout the years.  As odd as that may sound, I genuinely did not know why I did certain things during specific holidays.  I was blind to so much.  What I found was a wealth of beautiful information that I never expected.  It was no surprise, but, I did not expect to be as moved by it as I was.  All of this brought me to a new reality.  Not having been raised with religion, one may assume I would be against religions or absorb one to its fullest potential for some sort of acceptance.  Rather, what I found, were religions, or ways of life, through my roots that accepted all religions and allowed for you to practice what you feel good about.  I realized there were many Buddhists in this world who did believe in other religions.  Hinduism as well, may have a different thought process than other religions being very similar to Buddhism, but, the one thing Hinduism does not do is negate the beliefs of other religions.  My daughters are being brought up Catholic.  I believe in Catholicism.  I love the moral structure it is built on and what my girls are learning.  I hope through their spiritual and religious growth, they do maintain respect for other religions.  The important piece is to believe and to have a foundation.

My next step was to start meditating and going back to yoga.  I did just that.  The meditating took me a while to figure out.  Initially, I was too tense.  I was suffering from a closed mind because I felt odd trying it.  Connecting with women I met through my daughters school and various other groups, I realized how many people I knew did meditate.  That was a bit of an awakening for me.  It did not seem so odd any more.  Sometimes, we all need a bit of a kick in the buttox to realize these are not things that one should feel strange about.  Oddly enough, the women I know who do yoga and meditate tend to be more grounded and comfortable with themselves.  Through this awareness, meditating has become easier for me.  It’s like a little something in my head clicked.  From that, it was time for yoga.  In my head, I was a natural yogi.  The reality, not so much.  Clearly, I am a beginner.  Fortunately, I have a great instructor, and supposedly good form.  The beauty is going through the process and educating myself as I do so.  The end result I am hoping for is to never really have an end.  Just keep growing, but stay grounded and not only never lose my roots again, but understand them.

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Who Are These People???

Rarely do I watch the news.  It is just too depressing.  Logging on to the internet and reading news by choice has always been less emotionally trying on me.  Unfortunately, even that is difficult these days.  I realize I have said this before, but honestly, why do writers and newscasters believe that the front page should consist of terrible things?  They are not necessarily newsworthy!  Unless off course, you are a sociopath or get a kick out of pure and simple misery…

Never mind the newspapers being filled with negative stories…  have you taken a look at most front pages of websites lately?  Take Yahoo for example.  I don’t have anything against yahoo, genuinely.  The site is informative and their search engine is great.  It used to be my home page.  Recently, I converted to Google so that I would not immediately be inundated with things I do not care about or do not want to know about.  When you log into yahoo, the top stories consist of information regarding terrible things happening in our world, or, even worse, celebrity gossip.  The only positive they tend to post is whether someone wore a dress well or not.  Seriously?  Google, fortunately, does not spew out bad reading material the moment you enter. 

Today, I somehow ended up on msn now.  The first story that popped into my view was “Tech-savvy citizen rescues 500 dogs from becoming dinner“…  A lovely story about a truck load of dogs, some with collars, some with clothes on, who were on their way to a food processing plant.  Fortunately, the citizen helped stop the awfulness by utilizing a social network.  Ok, so that is not so terrible.  The citizen is clearly a hero, but… what the flip is wrong with the people who stole these poor little beings and who are the even more crazy ones who would consider eating them?  Yes, I know people from different cultures may be inclined to eat animals I would not consider eating but that does not make me ok with it.  Moving on, I got to take my pick of a great list of articles.  The first one, “Family rocks out to ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ on drive to school” and next to that article, “Cruel man pays $2,400 for setting fire to neighbor’s cat “… hmm… This got me thinking.  Are they putting stories in this order to punish me?  A family rocking out in the car to a song is kind of funny.  A great little read to rise and shine with a cup of coffee to.  Unfortunately, I don’t really think I would want to drink a cup of coffee first thing in the morning, read an article about someone setting fire to a cat, and looking at my pretend cat Penelope purring at my feet.  Just another reminder of what may be trending in your world, but not in mine.

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What do you write about?

When I finally started telling people I had this blog/website, they always asked what I wrote about.  When I  join blog groups or forums, one question that typically pops up on my screen is, what do you write about?  For Trending Mom, what I write about is a loaded question… and a difficult one at that.

The whole premise behind my website is to write about whatever is trending in my world.  It is about following my own trends and the things important to me in life.  There are days I am candid and focus on my children.  Other days, my focus is on technology.  Off course, anything from the humanitarian realm is always on my radar.  When I read books about blogging, the writers tend to stress having a direction.  I realize having a focus is important. My direction, unfortunately, is never going to be just about one topic.  My focus is never on just one topic.  Again, trending mom is about ALL things trending in my world.

“Are you manic?”  HUH?  Someone actually had the audacity to ask me that after they read through a few pages of my blog.  First off, if I was manic, that would be great because it seems I held their concentration enough for them to continue reading.  The reality, though, is nope.  I am not manic.  I am simply normal.  I have my ups and downs.  I have good days and bad.  Some days, my kids frustrate me.  Some days, it is my husband.  Does it really matter though?  Those are the things that make me normal.  Not manic.  So my response to the individual that asked was, “why, yes, I suppose I may be.  A dose of medication may help me too.  Got any good doctors?”  Clearly (or maybe not), I am kidding!  I did respond to the individual with a simple no.

So here is the deal.  If you choose to visit on occasion, don’t expect the same tone in all of my posts.  Please don’t expect me to post only funnies.  Don’t expect me to rate technology every day or to do product reviews.  That actually brings me to another topic….  the reviews…  You will NEVER find a bad review on my site.  Why, you ask…  Well, I don’t EVER review what I don’t like.  That is never going to change… NOT EVER!  I would rather not write about something than give it a negative response…  at least not for someone else.  Not saying I am perfect…  sometimes, I may mention something I do not like a lot… and every so often, I may write about recent frustrations I had with an inanimate object, but…  I will not review ANYTHING on this site if I am not confident in it.  Remember…  you are visiting Trending Mom, all things TRENDING in my world!   Now take a minute and join my website will you?

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Care2

Being involved in humanitarian efforts is a passion I share with many people around the world.  Finding my voice was not difficult.  There are so many things I am passionate about.  I could write for hours about different causes I believe in.  If I had the ability, I would travel the world trying to help as many people as I could.  Although I may not have the time to do all of that, I do have the time each day, to go through the Care2 website and participate as well as educate myself about the many things happening in this world and the amazing people involved in making a positive change.

A few months ago, I was asked if I saw something in the news.  My response was simple.  I said no.  “Really” my friend asked.  Again, my response was one word, “no”.  I don’t watch the news.  It depresses me too much.  Try this tonight.  Watch a full hour of the news.  In front of you, have a piece of paper with two columns.  The first, positive stories.  The second, negative stories.  Mark up that piece of paper with the amount of positive vs. negative stories you hear.  Then, take a moment to reflect on how you felt while watching it.  I will guarantee you feel a little stressed or possibly depressed the moment it is over…  unless you are a sadist of some sort that is.  I guess when people speak of “what is newsworthy,” the answer is apparent after one sitting of watching the news…  It is rarely rainbows and butterflies… 

Here is another thought…  a lot of good is done in our world.  Many people do amazing things every day!  So, why on earth are they not making it to the news?  Think of a rumor…  negative rumors spread a lot faster than positive ones.  For some reason, everyone wants to talk about the bad, assuming that would be newsworthy… either that, or again, they are sadists…  that word seems to be on the tip of my tongue today…  So, the same goes for the news.  Bad news spreads faster than good news.  Rather than talking about the bad, why not spread the word about the good?  Email the news stations when your neighbor does something positive.  Call them!  Spread the word to the masses.  Nothing is newsworthy if nobody knows about it. 

This brings me back to Care2 and how I found it.  It’s true, I do not like to watch the news.  Fortunately, I like to read.  Having the ability to pick and choose what I read is great.  My web surfing and love of reading led me to Care2’s website.  Care2 is all about different humanitarian efforts going on in the world.  They cover non-profits and individuals looking to make a difference.  The site doesn’t ever ask you for money.  Rather, it educates the reader and allows you to participate with very little effort.  Efforts can be as simple as signing a petition like the one I have on the side bar of my home page.  It really is that simple.  Take a moment and sign.  Better yet, check out their website.  You will be amazed at the amount of remarkable individuals making a difference right now.  You can also check out the article they recently posted about me by clicking this link!

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