Born in India, migrating to America and getting lost along the way. Where were my roots? Between moving, getting accustomed to a new culture, and trying to fit in, I seemed to have lost my grounding. Between hearing about people’s their amazing journeys through life and others who knew they had a calling and followed it, there was a time where I felt completely lost. Acknowledging this was the first step I took. Then, I felt lost again. That is, until I realized that my roots were missing.
Each of us has a set of roots that should never be forgotten no matter how good or bad. I understand many people want to forget where they came from for various reasons but the reality is that through your subconscious, you never will. That is why it is better to come to terms with them and move forward from it. The roots will and always be what ground you as an individual. Only you have the chance to make them stronger and grow them. It was not too long ago that I finally decided it was time for me to start living more and stop worrying about everything and everyone around me. Everyone passes judgement. You cannot avoid what others think or say. You can allow it not to bother you. It is a decision I chose to make on my own. That is when I reached my point of acceptance. It was time for me to go back to my roots, absorb them, and strengthen myself as an individual.
The first step involved reading. I read about Buddhism, Indian traditions, the culture, the evolution and even the meaning behind each holiday I had celebrated throughout the years. As odd as that may sound, I genuinely did not know why I did certain things during specific holidays. I was blind to so much. What I found was a wealth of beautiful information that I never expected. It was no surprise, but, I did not expect to be as moved by it as I was. All of this brought me to a new reality. Not having been raised with religion, one may assume I would be against religions or absorb one to its fullest potential for some sort of acceptance. Rather, what I found, were religions, or ways of life, through my roots that accepted all religions and allowed for you to practice what you feel good about. I realized there were many Buddhists in this world who did believe in other religions. Hinduism as well, may have a different thought process than other religions being very similar to Buddhism, but, the one thing Hinduism does not do is negate the beliefs of other religions. My daughters are being brought up Catholic. I believe in Catholicism. I love the moral structure it is built on and what my girls are learning. I hope through their spiritual and religious growth, they do maintain respect for other religions. The important piece is to believe and to have a foundation.
My next step was to start meditating and going back to yoga. I did just that. The meditating took me a while to figure out. Initially, I was too tense. I was suffering from a closed mind because I felt odd trying it. Connecting with women I met through my daughters school and various other groups, I realized how many people I knew did meditate. That was a bit of an awakening for me. It did not seem so odd any more. Sometimes, we all need a bit of a kick in the buttox to realize these are not things that one should feel strange about. Oddly enough, the women I know who do yoga and meditate tend to be more grounded and comfortable with themselves. Through this awareness, meditating has become easier for me. It’s like a little something in my head clicked. From that, it was time for yoga. In my head, I was a natural yogi. The reality, not so much. Clearly, I am a beginner. Fortunately, I have a great instructor, and supposedly good form. The beauty is going through the process and educating myself as I do so. The end result I am hoping for is to never really have an end. Just keep growing, but stay grounded and not only never lose my roots again, but understand them.