Friday, December 14th was my youngest daughters birthday. The day began with a house filled with happiness and laughter. We drove to school with smiles on our faces. At morning assembly, the girls stood in their class lines like they always do, while Danny and I stood with other parents who attended. Soon after morning assembly commenced, all students with December 14th birthdays were wished and the Happy Birthday song was sung to them. Julia, like the other children who shared the same special day, had smiles on their faces and a little pep in their step. As I said, Friday, December 14th began a happy day.

After hugging and kissing my daughters goodbye, I went to work. It was routine. Nothing different from most days, with the exception of my daughters 5th birthday. I’m sure that is what the parents of students who endured the Newtown tragedy felt on Friday morning… until they received a phone call, or listened to the news. There are no words to describe what happened that day. There isn’t a single expression, phrase or scream that could come close to the horror many people feel. Although my family, as well as others, may not have been directly affected by the Newtown tragedy, I don’t believe anybody doesn’t feel an overwhelming sadness or helplessness because of it.

Since Friday, I haven’t been able to write. Although the desire was there, the words wouldn’t flow. I didn’t want to write about Newtown, but I didn’t feel ok writing about anything else. The past few days, I spent the time I normally would writing on bigger things. I prayed for the families who lost their children and loved ones, I prayed for the victims who died, I prayed for my own daughters, hoping they never have to experience the terror those little souls must have felt, and I cried.

There are so many things I want to say about the media, the coverage, thoughts I have about how we tend to sensationalize things like this, and the anger I have towards the killer. I cannot though. This is not the time, and it won’t change what happened. Right now, all I can do is keep praying and support what our country implements to ensure nothing like the events of December 14th, 2012 ever happen again.